Outside

Sometimes, I struggle to breathe in here. I miss the outside so much it hurts. The tightness in my chest, the feeling of panic, of the walls of this ship closing in, and only the blackness of space sitting in the window like a shroud ready to suffocate me. I have to steady myself, steady my breathing, gain control by reciting one of my mantras: this is for them. For my children, it wasn’t an option to stay on Earth. I’m here for them. They deserve a chance at peace, even if it comes in this metal tomb, hurtling through nothingness. This is for them. 

On days like today, bitterness wells up as I wonder if we should have chosen a different path. Should we have tried to continue terraforming Mars in the Solar System? Tried harder to restore the Earth to a place of beauty and clean, breathable, non-recycled, not concentrated stinking of too many various human bodily odors normal-smelling air?!? I know these weren’t viable options, I know that in my head, and my heart, but I just have to put my thoughts down somewhere today, even if I hope no one ever reads them. I want my children and, hopefully, grandchildren, to believe that we all made this sacrifice willingly and happily for them, for all of the future generations. But today, I struggle to breathe and I just want to go outside. 

One of the only things that keeps me going is the knowledge that one day an entire generation of humanity will be born in the fresh air, in peace, breathing freely, not trapped inside. This is for them.

Hey, 

What do you think of this? I just found it while doing some research. Didn’t you say that you once found some info on terraforming when you were messing around instead of working on that History of the Arvad group project we had, back when we were kids? Let me know if it jogs any memories for you. 

Hope your bowl is full,

Sophie

—-

You haven’t heard from Sophie in what feels like years, although perhaps it has only been a few months. Time seems to have sped up since you were teenagers together. Terraforming isn’t something you hear about everyday, and you wonder what exactly Sophie is working on. She’s become one of the top Scientists of the belt and whatever it is, you’re sure it isn’t just a passing interest. Sophie’s the type to go all-in on an idea and either make something amazing or exhaust all possibilities before discarding it and moving on to the next one. She seems to be down the rabbit hole with this one already, if she’s digging up anonymous old journal entries from the beginning of the Arvad’s voyage.

—

A few weeks later you run into an old friend of your family’s in a dining hall. Cornelius is eager to catch up with you, and he invites you to join his group, as they are having an informal meeting about a new idea. You’re impressed by the company as you spot several Prime Council members, a few former Department Heads from the Arvad, one of the better known Academy professors, and a handful of prominent Merchants. After a few minutes of scientific debate, their discussion quickly turns to politics.

“The question is not ‘if’ but rather ‘how’,” says Vikram Stephenson. “With the advancements we’re making in science and engineering, I’m certain that we can find a solution to terraforming a planet, or maybe one of the moons, but how do we get the political will to do it?”

“It won’t be easy. This isn’t something that we can accomplish in a year, or a decade, this will be work for several generations.”

“I agree, this is going to require a massive amount of cooperation, I’m talking at a scale we’ve never seen.”

After several murmurs of agreement and head nodding, the group grows quiet for a moment, contemplating the sheer amount of work it would take to terraform.

“They made that commitment before, you know,” an older woman speaks softly, but her voice confidently commands the attention of everyone in the group. “When they decided to climb aboard the Arvad, they knew they weren’t going to see paradise in their lifetimes. They were still willing to make the necessary sacrifices, and we’re here today because they did.”

“So, we’ll do it again. I’m a realist about the scale of this project, and I think that’s going to be the key in messaging. No lies, no half-truths or false promises, just the reality of the long-term goal and the hard work and sacrifice needed to get there.” 

You’re somewhat in disbelief that this group of powerful people is seriously contemplating what you had once been taught was a fever-dream of a concept that could never be realized.

—-

During the next few months you see notices for meetings and read several newsletters from the New Adalian Terraforming Society (or NATS), as Cornelius’ group has named themselves. You also hear the jokes (NATS? More like “nuts”), the conspiracy theories (they just want to ship us off to the planets to decrease the population!), and the alternative ideas (maybe it would be better to change our own bodies and make humans adapt to the planets, not the other way around). Still, the idea of terraforming seems to be getting a foothold among Adalians, and you keep thinking back to that anonymous journal entry that Sophie sent to you. Some days you almost feel jealousy for the long-deceased voyager from Earth, at least they had a grand purpose, a dream that they could hold fast to and help to make a reality.

As you are standing outside on a barren field, a press conference pops up on your MUSE and you see Sophie standing in the background, among some of the more prominent NATS. The Prime Council is announcing a new Terraforming Department and setting its initial mandate to explore and evaluate the planets for feasibility.

An excited chill runs up your back, goosebumps appear on your arms, could this really be possible?